I will not go quietly into the night
by Syreina
Summary: Seth faces a fight for his life against his own body.
1. Chapter 1

Prompt from GrahamCrackerEG: story about Seth having Chemo.

* * *

Seth sits in the doctor's office and stares at the paper. The doctor had told him the news but the paper just seemed to make it real. He holds his head as he lets the paper drop to the floor. He had Lymphoma and it was an aggressive form. The treatment needed to start immediately for him to survive and even then he may not survive. he had cancer and it was deadly.

Seth holds his head as he looks down at the floor. His head drops as tears come to his eyes.

The doctor touches Seth's arm and then speaks softly. "is there anyone we can call.. or just someone that can stay with you?"

Seth shakes his head and whispers. "there's no one. I'll be fine though.. I'm just going to go home. I just want to go home.. please."

Seth stands up and picks up the paper. He walks out with out any other word since right now he needs time. He needs process that his life was over and that he was dieing. The doctor takes a breath and debates on calling Seth's next of kin to keep the man from doing something stupid. Seth shouldn't be driving and he needs someone. The doctor finally moves and picks up the phone.

* * *

Seth heads down stairs to the parking lot. He had been in a long term relationship before he went out for his knee injury. But they had ended after the man picked his wife over Seth. Seth knew he would but it still hurt. Seth wraps his arms around himself as he leans against the car. The paper crinkling in his fist. Now he didn't have anyone. He couldn't ask his friends to come help when honestly he was a shitty friend and choose his career over friendship.

Seth finally moves after some time to gather himself. He reaches for the door to the car and then freezes when he hears a rough voice. "Princess you are not driving."

Seth looks over his shoulder at Dean who is standing there. "I'm not in the mood Ambrose."

Dean looks at him and walks over. Seth stiffens expecting a punch or something. Instead Dean wraps his arms around Seth and pulls him tightly against him. Seth lets out a shuddering breath and then tries to move away. Dean's hand though was knotted in Seth's hair and he holds him tightly. He wasn't letting Seth go.

Seth shakes and then sobs into Dean's chest. "it's not fair.."

Dean nods and whispers. "I know princess. I know though that you're gong to beat this."

Seth sobs and shakes his head. Dean though keeps Seth close and leads him back to his own car. The doctor had resorted to calling him. The doctor had been worried that Seth would do something or cause an accident by driving distracted. Dean doesn't know how he managed to drive them home with Seth clinging to him like a koala but he does.

He makes it into Seth's apartment. He crinkles his nose seeing the mess. Seth has been injured but it's obvious other then caring for Kevin, Seth hasn't been taking care of himself or the house. Dean watches Seth walks into the apartment looking lost. Dean shuts the door and then picks Kevin up.

Kevin whines softly and Dean walks over. He puts Kevin in Seth's arms and then wraps him up. He helps him onto the couch and speaks softly. "Don't shut down on me princess."

Seth holds Kevin tightly to his chest and whispers. "Promise me, you will take care of Kevin."

Dean takes a breath and then sits on the floor. He rests a hand on Seth's stomach and then speaks softly. "Kevin is going to be fine. Because you're not leaving and you are going to beat this."

Seth looks at dean with tears in his eyes. "what if.."

Dean shakes his head and then whispers. "Kevin will be fine. I promise you."

Seth nods and holds onto Kevin. He curls into himself. Kevin was looking distressed and licking at Seth. Dean keeps his hand on Seth's stomach and rubbing it. He knows that Seth has to either cry himself out or calm down. Right now Dean was thinking the first might happen. He sits there and then looks up when Seth holds onto Dean's hand. Dean smiles softly at the man and whispers gently. "I'll be here through this. Don't worry."

Seth wipes at his eyes and then whimpers. "Thank you."

* * *

Dean takes a personal leave and informed Hunter for Seth. Hunter was devastated for two reasons. One was business. He was losing two wrestlers for an unknown period of time and he knew Roman would take time off too to see his friend. The other reason was Seth was his protege and he had the biggest soft spot for Seth. He said he would come see him soon with Stephanie and that Dean take as long as he needs. Dean agreed to this.

Dean then cleaned the apartment from top to bottom while Seth slept that night. He wasn't sure what he was going to do or how he was going to keep Seth going but he wasn't going to let seth die. He would help him through this.

Roman actually arrived after grabbing the package from the doctor. It had all the information that Seth needed for Chemotherapy. Roman suggested putting Seth to bed while he slept but Dean refused. He didn't want Seth alone at all. So Roman and Dean sat that the table reading the information.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean sits in the waiting room with Seth. They where waiting to be called in into the room. They already had told Dean he could go back with him. Roman was on Seth's other side. Mainly because Seth already tried to run when he checked in. Roman and Dean caught him and managed to get him into the waiting room. The lady looked sympathetic since Seth looked terrified. Seth clings to Dean though and hides his face as a person walks by that looks like living death. Dean feels a cold lump in his stomach and then wraps his arms tighter around Seth and keeps Seth's face in his shoulder.

Finally the nurse motions to them and Dean stands up with Seth. Seth stands up and swallows in fear. Dean leads him into the room. There's lots of easy chairs. Seth sits down and clings to Dean's hand with one hand. The nurse there smiles softly at the two of them.

Dean looks at Seth and smiles softly. "I like your nurses."

Seth laughs softly. "That's cause they're all pretty."

The nurses blushes at that and then pats Seth's head. "You're not so bad yourself. I'm Joyce."

Seth laughs softly. "Hi Joyce."

Joyce hooks up the bottle and then prepares the needle. Dean tips Seth to look at him. "Seth look at me."

Seth nods and looks at him. He whimpers softly as Joyce inserts the need for the IV. She then moves and puts gloves over Seth's hands and feet. She smiles at him when he looks confused. "They're to reduce the damage to your nails."

Seth nods and then looks at the bottle of poison that is slowly entering his body drip by drip. It was a poison though he needed to survive. Seth shifts a little and Dean looks at him cocking his head to the side. Seth shrugs. "My arm is cold."

Dean nods. "it's the IV."

Joyce sits down on Seth's other side and then speaks softly. "I need to go through some side effects. So that you understand what is going to happen and also because.. I experienced them first hand myself once. I just want people to know that the side effects are worth the drug that is going to save their lives."

Seth speaks softly as if it's a secret. "You had cancer?"

Joyce nods "I've been clear for almost 5 years now. You can beat it."

Seth nods and lays his head on Dean's shoulder.

Joyce nods. "All those sites about survival rates you read on line are not accurate all the time. You need to remember we're making advancements every damn day and more and more people are surviving. So you are not allowed to give up."

Seth nods and Joyce then begins to explain the side effects. All of which seem worse then the other. After she is done the IV is done. She gives Seth an id card that has all the doctor's information on it.

"if you have to come to the ER this tells them the information for what chemo you're receiving and all the information and who to contact." Joyce explains. "if it's chemo related they will get us to help you and honestly.. half the time they get us anyways even if it's not chemo related. I've had to stitch up a cut because they got us. But I'd rather have that since we'll all know each other and I want to know how my people are doing."

Seth nods and smiles at her. "Thank you."

Joyce nods and runs her fingers through seth's hair. "You'll make it. Just have faith."

Seth nods and stands up after everything is finished. The port is kept in his hand since he has to keep coming back. They then don't have to keep doing the iv.

Joyce grins softly. "And I think you have one of the most devoted boyfriends I've seen."

Seth takes a breath and then looks at Dean. Dean isn't his boyfriend.. and he should say that. But Dean isn't correcting her and Seth doesn't want to either.

Dean grins when Seth doesn't correct her. He then wraps his arm around Seth's waist and pulls him close. "With a guy like him.. you have to be devoted or the girls will snatch him away."

Seth blushes and then wraps his arms around Dean. Something about this feels right. Dean kisses Seth's temple and leads him out. Roman looks up from his coffee and looks confused by the fact that Dean is kissing Seth's temple and holding him.

"So did you two finally hook up in there.. Odd time to do it but I approve. You know Dean had crush on you since the shield. Seth would just whine that you Dean was cute.. and .. you didn't hook up did you..."Roman starts babbling.

Dean sighs and shakes his head. Roman closes his mouth and then mumbles something about someone having to push Dean into telling him.

Seth listens and then looks up at Dean. "Why.. "

Dean shrugs. "you where with him."

Seth bites his lip and then whispers. "If.."

Dean spins Seth to look him in the eyes. "When."

Seth smiles softly and whispers. "I want you too."

Dean grins and then leads Seth towards the car. "Well now.. you have me.. Lets get food.. and something in you and me.. and we still need to feed Roman before he goes full grouchy bear."

Roman nods and then gives them their coats. "sushi?"

Dean fidgets. "Is that safe?"

Seth looks confused.

Dean shrugs. "The Chemo.. You're immune system is suppressed."

Seth frowns and bites his lip. Roman wraps his arm around Seth and then smiles brightly. "Ok then Italian.. lets go."

Dean smiles brightly and follows them as Roman leads them out."


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next month Seth and Dean settle into a routine. Dean would sleep in Seth's bed with Seth so that he wasn't alone. Also it was so that Seth did wallow in his thoughts and fears. Also another reason is Dean was worried that if he's in the living room he wouldn't get up when Seth got sick. Though napping became a way of life since Seth would be up in the middle of the night getting sick or the therapy would leave him drained and tired because of either the emotional impact or the therapy it's self would tire him out. That would leave Seth up in the night and napping during the day.

Eating was something else as well since Seth couldn't taste anything. He didn't care what he ate or if he ate. Roman set up alarms on Dean and Seth's phones along with his own. That way there was no missed meals and no fights about eating. When it went off.. you ate. Roman demanded that there be no fights so Seth listened. Dean liked it because he got a lot of healthy food into Seth at one sitting. Seth tried to cook one day and it came out really salty and weird. Dean ate it.. and smiled during it. He knew it was because Seth couldn't taste anything and he didn't want to make Seth feel bad. After that though Dean cooked full time for them. Dean also got doughnuts, ice cream and sweets into Seth before this happened. Seth though lived off those right now because of sugar high was one of the few times that Seth felt like he was awake. Before that Seth first said no then Dean got him to binge at least for a bit.

Tonight was no different then any other night though, since Seth had been up for an hour sick and now was curled up in Dean's arms on the bathroom floor. Roman had wrapped a blanket around them after Seth could get away from the toilet and Dean wrapped him up in his arms trying to warm his boyfriend up. Dean was trying not to show Seth how scared he was.

Seth though looks up at Dean and notices the tightness around the eyes and the way his smile was fake. Seth wraps his arms around Dean's neck and whispers. "I'm sorry."

Dean shakes his head and whispers softly. "They said you would get sick."

Seth whispers. "it's not that.. you're scared.."

Dean holds Seth tightly and whispers. "I know you will beat this.. I'm just.. I am scared. Scared that this is taking too much out of you.. Scared that you will give up. I'm scared that things won't go back to normal."

Seth whispers. "they won't be normal.. they'll be better.. We'll have each other. After two years of being fools we have each other."

Seth didn't say that since Dean told him and kissed him. Seth wanted to live for this relationship. That he finally had who he wanted and he didn't want to let him go.

Dean smiles softly at that thought. Something melting inside him but he'll never admit it. He holds pulls Seth closer and then kisses him lightly on the head. Since admitting they had feelings they had just been taking it slow. Dean whispers softly. "together."

Seth nods and whispers. "together."

Dean whispers. "Lets get back into bed and cuddle Kevin."

Seth nods and moves slowly up off the floor. Dean leads him to bed and pulls him under the covers. Seth closes his eyes and nuzzles into Dean. Roman rumbles from the kitchen. "It's 6am.. you may as well stay up."

Dean groans and looks at Seth. "we have a personal alarm clock."

Seth nods and then notices something on his pillow. He runs his fingers over it and comes up with a lot of hair.

Dean frowns and then runs his own fingers through Seth's hair. He sighs when clumps come with his fingers.

Seth looks over at Dean and smiles sadly. "we knew this would happen."

Dean whispers. "I was.."

Seth nods and whispers. "Me too."

Dean closes his eyes and then pulls Seth close and kisses him gently. Seth wraps his arms around Dean and kisses him back. His eyes closing against reality. He didn't want to face it anymore. See the fear in Dean's eyes or know that he might not make it through this. He just wanted this hell to be over.

Roman walks in and looks sadly over at the couple. His eyes closing for a second himself and pray leaving his lips. So softly that no one else hears it. "let him beat this."

Dean then pulls back and then takes a breath. The reality of everything had set in and all he could do was pray. Pray that Seth would survive and that he will make it. He knew Seth was just going to get sicker and sicker before he got better. This was out of his hands now.

Dean looks into Seth's eyes and whispers. "Together."

...

One Year Latter.

Roman stands on a beach in Hawaii. It was a year to the day that he made that silent prayer to what ever higher power is looking over his family. a Year to the day the Dean and Him almost made a deal with anyone that would have saved Seth. Roman smirks when he hears arguing and then turns his head. His wife and Daughter where watching them all from the side lines.

"Dean... come on.. you look cute."

"This is not fair. I hate water."

Roman turns and sees Dean standing there in the water. He was wet from the waves crashing against his legs. Dean looks at him and huffs. Then suddenly a flying body crashes into both of them knocking them into the water. Roman wraps his arms around the body and surfaces with him.

Seth smirks. He was so small but he was there and alive. Months and months of chemotherapy. A long battle had made him thin and he was just starting to get his muscle tone back. His hair was short after they had so shave it that day. Seth though smiles brightly at him and then Dean grabs both of them leaning on them. He beat it though and was cancer free.

Seth laughs brightly and Dean growls. Roman's heart lifts at the how Alive and happy both of them seem.

"My own fiancee.. tackling me into the water." Dean mutters. "And my best friend rescues him over me."

Roman shrugs. "he's lighter. Not my fault you're a fat ass."

Dean growls at him. "traitor."

Seth watches them and then wraps his arms around them. Pulling them tightly to him. Seth then whispers. "Together."


End file.
